can I once again give up everything for art? it's been a question that's been on my mind for a few years now. I don't have the focus I used to have and my hands are not what they used to be. would it be worth it? I ponder

Time to start all over

It's definitely time to start from a clean slate again. Thinking about what could be and what could have been is taking it's toll.

Curse of the Golden Flower

Ok, decent flick.. depressing as hell.. I sure know how to pick them.. any movies out that give a bit of hope?

setting yourself to fail.. is that self loathing?

didn't know you could die from sleeping too much or from drinking too much water ? well, apparently you can.. I guess lack of sleep would be the same thing.

can't seem to focus these days. besides obsessions and indulgences; nothing else seems to matter.

Children of men

Ok, I like to indulge myself in films that delve into the human condition and the occasional chick flick as some call it. Children of men definitely fits into that category but during the film I got so depressed by it that .. I was ready to just shoot myself and get it done .. is this a good thing for a film to incite that kinda of emotion? I think it's good that it's emotional but what a horrible way to start the new year.

so exhausted

I was just want to lie down and sleep for a long time.

grrr.. women

Why do I always fall for the wrong women.. I don't mean the wrong type, but it's always someone married, estranged, etc etc. No wonder why I'm always alone. I guess it's time to drink.

brandy

well, when my friend said that my best friend is brandy, as in the alcohol.. I have to wonder about that..

Darkside of things

It's in all of us. the dark and the light. Lately, the dark seems to be winning. That pessimistic voice in your head that brings out the worst in human nature. Just get it done and over it. what's the point ?

Alone

to be truly alone. I don't think majority of people even consider what that is. On the one day that should be about family, what do you do when you don't have one. The one day you truly need someone to tell you everything will be okay and you end up being alone thinking of the dark things , oblivion. What's the point of moving forward when you no longer have faith or hope.

somebody above

after all the alcohol I consumed on friday, I shouldn't even be here posting this yet I'm still here. I know I've used up all of my lives and something just won't let me go. strange, but it certainly isn't fuckin GOD in whatever incarnation.

Penny Arcade

The latest Penny Arcade comic hit it dead on the nail as to how I feel about Gamestop and how they are ruining the game industry as a whole.

Past lives

In your quest for freedom, Sagittarius, you've been exploring the world for millennia. You may have crossed the country in a covered wagon or the ocean as a Spanish explorer. And, you didn't hesitate to invade and defeat the cultures you met to forge your new life. Perhaps you pursued a spiritual calling as a priest or evangelical missionary. Either way, you were often separated from your family and culture. You've become a budding planetary citizen … now your task is to put down roots and blossom.

explains a lot.

can't sleep

so I can't sleep tonight and I'm watching some movie trailers on Apple's website and the only movie that catches my eye is "come early morning". I definitely have some emotional issues of some sort. oh, ya and I cried like a lil girl too. issues indeed.

What is a blog?

A simple question with a multitude of different answers. It's an interesting way to vent how one feels. It can be a good outlet to convey volatile emotions, etc etc. It does something for everyone who creates a blog. Are bloggers losers? I think not.

charnag numl'esstu

It's always this time of the year that my mind retracts into it's own little world and my thoughts lean on the past more frequently then I want it to. I guess it's depression, but I have a hard time describing what it feels like. I guess it's like drowning except there is that loud static noise accompanyed by it. I want to make it stop but then everything would stop and I'm not ready even if my mind tells me that it's time.

New Microsoft Compatibility Update

Finally, Scarface, Mortal Kombat Armegeddon, Soul Calibur II, Dead or Alive Extreme all backwards compatible well as some other titles. Oops, forgot to mention "Psychonauts." One of the best games ever is also compatible now.